i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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