lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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