I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize