Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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