let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize