im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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