my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
no, he came in my armpit
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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