If i come over, it means nothing
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize