Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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