he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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