were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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