I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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