I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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