Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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