he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize