twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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