Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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