New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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