4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
even my farts smell like vagina
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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