I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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