Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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