apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize