You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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