I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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