yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize