so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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