What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize