chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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