im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize