There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize