plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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