im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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