Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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