But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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