hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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