how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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