just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
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Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
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my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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