Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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