That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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