Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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