i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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