So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize