You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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