and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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