woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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