I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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