I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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