So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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