I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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