I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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